Questing Beast
by E. H. Nighthawk
Summary: Jess defends his lady and is left to explain himself to Luke.


**[Questing Beast]**

Jess slammed down the shot glass a slight smile hovering. The other man's face was impassive, but underneath he was radiating desperation at Jess' continued sobriety. With Jess' weight he should have been flat on his back hours ago. Douglas gulped. Maybe he shouldn't have made this bet. He glanced at the middle of the table where the pile of cash mocked him.

Too late now. He shot back the whisky and blinked back tears as the alcohol hit the back of his throat and burned in his stomach. The glass hit the bar table with a satisfying thud.

Jess picked up the next glass and threw it back, his eyes never leaving Douglas'. Sweat dripped down Douglas' forehead feeling cold as it tracked its way down. Irritated he rubbed his arm across his face streaking sweat on his already sweaty sleeve. Deliberately Jess set his glass down to join the row in front of him.

Douglas was too far in to give up now. He gritted his teeth. The skinny punk wouldn't win, Douglas wouldn't let him.

He reached for another glass his hand trembling slightly; Douglas glared at the offending limb. Stupid thing, giving out on him now.

Jess' lips quirked upward. Smug bastard, Douglas thought. The thought pushed him to drink the next shot. Liquid spilled over his hand and down the front of his shirt.

 _Douglas had been nursing his drink throughout the evening. He cracked his neck; it had been acting up from the day before. He rubbed at it irritably._

" _Doug, my man." Bobby slapped him on the back. He winced. Douglas, it was Douglas. Doug sound too close to dung._

 _Bobby pulled a chair up to his table. "What's been happening?"_

 _Douglas snorted, "The usual sh*t. My coworker is filing for harassment." Bobby shrugged._

 _Yeah, nothing you can do about that._

 _Douglas played with his drink. "Women. Give them a little leeway and they want the world."_

 _Bobby nodded._

" _No respect. You have to make them respect you."_

 _He took a drink. "Like that one who goes to that fancy school."_

 _Bobby made a sympathetic noise._

" _I mean, who does she think she is?"_

 _A sarcastic voice from behind him replied. "I know. Who wants education for women? Definitely not some losers from the bar who probably haven't been in a good relationship ever and probably have mommy issues."_

 _Douglas turned. Dark eyes met his defiantly._

" _Hey man, we were just drinking here." Bobby interjected._

 _The dark haired punk took a step forward. "Yeah? Well don't talk about things your miniscule brains can't handle. In fact don't talk at all. Maybe that will raise the IQ of the room."_

 _Douglas shot up with his fists clenched. The punk mirrored him, his eyes hard. Bobby stood up. "Doug, we're going to get kicked out if we start something."_

 _Douglas backed off. "You know what? We're in a bar. We can handle this another way."_

" _Fine by me."_

 _Douglas waved the bartender over. "Shots here."_

 _The bartender gave the punk a look as he set the shots down. The punk glared in return._

" _First man to go down loses."_

" _Let's make this a little more interesting." The punk pulled a chair closer. "The first man to go down loses the fight and loses a Benjamin Franklin."_

 _He pulled out a couple bills and set them on the table._

Several drinks later things were blurring for Douglas and strangely hilarious.

He couldn't concentrate on Jess' face, and every time he tried Jess slid out of focus and he ended up looking at the table, which was wetter than he remembered. He giggled to himself.

"It's okay." He slurred.

Until it wasn't. His chair slid out from him, and he fell with boneless grace.

The man slid to the ground. Jess barely glanced at him before sweeping the pile of cash off the table. The bills stuck together and smelled of alcohol. Jess grimaced as he shoved them into his pocket. Great. His clothes were going to smell for weeks.

The bartender looked at him. The message was clear: get out before he started checking Jess' ID. The one that showed Jess to be 17 instead of 21. Jess scowled. He'd lost his fake ID when Luke had raided his things looking for cigarettes and still hadn't had a chance to make a new one, not that he would have been able to in Stars Hollow. The place didn't exactly scream illegal. Maybe Kirk could be convinced to start something.

Jess deliberately set one foot in front of the other as he walked out of the only bar in Stars Hollow. Seriously? What kind of place had just one bar? Jess snorted, an insane place with weirdly organized shop owners taking over the town for the greater good. Sounds like a TV show or a movie. Jess thought for a minute. Hot Fuzz, that was the movie.

Jess mentally shrugged and continued to focus on walking. The blurring sidewalk and darkened sky made it difficult for him to see; and the ground kept shifting under his feet.

If Luke was up he'd be worried, Jess groaned inwardly. Please let him have gone to bed at his normal bedtime; Jess wasn't sure if he would be able to handle an angry and stressed out Luke on top of what was growing into a beautiful headache.

His mind wandered in the dizzy and strange way that alcohol has. An image of a questing beast from Arthurian legend kept coming to his mind, and his mind kept telling him that the image represented chaos and lust; the two things that eventually destroyed Camelot. Why his mind that he needed to know that was beyond him.

He supposed he was trying to tell himself something.

The image twisted in his mind into a mixture of serpent, leopard, lion and hart.

A dog's bark shook him, and his foot almost missed the ground. He cursed as he caught himself. Walking was tricky.

The diner's doors reflected the street light and created a wavering glimmer that he had a hard time focusing on. He reached out to open the door carefully fully expecting his hand to fall short. Considering how much he had to drink Jess was surprised he was standing.

The door knob didn't move as he twisted it. He threw his weight against the door panic growing as it refused to budge. Ten minutes passed before he realized that the door was locked and the key was above the door. Jess rested his head against the door. It was too late for this sh*t.

He stumbled up the stairs before reaching the door and fumbling it open. The light clicked on before he stepped through the door, and Jess jumped wincing when his neck muscles contracted and awakened the headache he'd been ignoring.

Uncle Luke was sitting on a chair facing the door.

"Not right now. Please, Uncle Luke. Can the inquisition wait until tomorrow?"

Luke said calmly, almost too calm, "I have been waiting for three hours."

Long time for the worry to build.

Jess snapped out, "I thought your bedtime was 9:30?"

Luke shot out of his chair and emphasized each word with a finger to Jess' chest. "Where were you, Jess? And—" he paused and sniffed Jess' clothes, "is that alcohol?"

"No."

"I don't believe this! Not only are you out late but you were drinking!"

Jess rubbed his head. "Please, Uncle Luke."

"You want me to be quiet?" A vein in Luke's forehead throbbed.

Luke dropped his voice to a hoarse whisper. Not that it helped any; Jess' head was pounding.

"Jess, I'm not going to let you do this!"

Jess held his head in his hands. It was way too late for this.

"What were you even doing there?"

Jess winced. He'd hoped to stay away from that question. "Nothing."

Luke stared at him. "Nothing?" He threw up his hand, voice rising as he did so. "You can't stand there and tell me nothing when it was obviously something! What were you doing?"

Fingers kneaded his temples Jess growled, "Let's wake the neighbors in the next city over. I think ours must already be up." He was tempted to ignore the whole thing and avoid the confrontation.

Luke was silent for a moment. The pause was long enough to for Luke to breath and calm his temper. "What happened?"

It was the quiet voice that broke him. Jess sat down on the couch as if the string holding him up was cut. Clasping his hands together Jess leaned forward onto his knees.

"I was drinking because some jerk was talking dirt about Rory," Jess' eyes shifted, "and I wanted to shut him up." Jess' face scrunched up in disgust. "What kind of idiot thinks woman shouldn't be confident and might actually be better at something than he is."

Luke stared, "You got in a drinking game over Rory?"

"Yes."

"And you out drank him?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

Luke looked at Jess' small build. "No reason." He started to smile.

"Shut up."

"Protecting your lady's honor."

"I mean it."

Luke continued to smile.

Jess groaned. "Can I go to bed now?"

"I'm not stopping you." Luke laughed.

Jess growled at Luke as he weakly pushed himself up with his arms. His arms gave out before he was completely up, and Jess fell back onto the couch. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the back.

Luke stared at him before grabbed his hand and pulled him up. Supporting Jess Luke lead the way to Jess' bed and set him gently on it. Jess shifted as he settled into the covers. A crackling sound came from his coat as he did so. Luke pulled a brown paper bag out from Jess' coat. Jess cracked an eye.

"Happy birthday," he mumbled before falling asleep.

Luke pulled the bag off a bottle of rye whisky. His eyebrows rose. "Not bad."

He patted Jess' leg. "You're going to be alright."


End file.
